Data analysis of attractiveness

http://www.businessinsider.com/surprising-statistics-about-hot-people-versus-ugly-people-2011-1#a-hot-woman-receives-roughly-4-the-messages-an-average-looking-woman-gets-and-25-as-many-as-an-ugly-one-1

Interesting report on female attractiveness. Worth a read.

Strangers, again

This has been making its rounds on Facebook. It seems that many people identify with it. It's a beautiful illustration of the communication issues between genders, and how it is amplified perhaps, when in a relationship.

The root cause, as the video suggests, is not about the gender differences, but about changing expectations and (extent of) effort put into the relationship.

The module is over, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. And I do think that I will keep this blog alive even after the module ends. Hopefully.

New Hairdo

British Humour at its best! This is just one of the many short clips on the quirkier aspects of the relationships between men and women.

De-mystifying the Pick-Up Artist

Or rather, the commodification of attraction. With this, pop science hits its zenith.

The moment of attraction, or the T=0, more often described as "the moment", or the cliche of the visual exchange of electricity via differential potential between the eyes of both sexes, is no longer something mysterious. Nerdy and socially awkward guys, if you every felt like the ugly duckling or Cinderella, your fairy godmother/father/brother has arrived: Attraction is nothing more than a skillset, something you can muster, with lots of reading, exchanging of information, and hard practice. Sounds suspiciously like studying.

I remember the girls in the class being very turned off by the claim that they are powerless to resist once this skillset is used. WRONG. If anyone at all had read the quintessential book on PUAs carefully, i.e. The Game by Neil Strauss, the truth could hardly be further from that. Here's the lowdown:

1. This so-called art of seduction is not so much a technical skillset but rather a nicely packaged set of ideas that teaches men how to navigate the intricacies of society with ease. The stuff about being able to charm the socks (and pants) off women is just a corollary, and a nice form of marketing to boot. In fact, if you were to study the basics carefully, its all about building self-confidence and being comfortable in your own skin. And I think that's the most important skill to be learnt, and its not just applicable to picking up girls but a way or living one's life.

2. Rather than promote a lifestyle of unbridled sex, I do think that Neil Strauss brought out the emptiness and ultimately unfulfilling nature of pursuing this art to its perfection. In fact, the story, despite its seeming amorality, does have an underlying morality: In the end, mastering the game is not about scoring chicks and bedding them, but about finding the right one. Which most guys tend to ignore when idealizing this art.

3. And no, contrary to what most think, the art does not guarantee a 100% success rate. Rather, it puts forward the nothing risked, nothing gained proposition: So what if one girl rejects you? There's still the forest out there! A common-sensical truism that most guys tend to ignore. In addition, there's nothing magical about this skill: The essence of it is basically teaching guys how to play up the interesting aspects of their personalities, and how to be a good conversationalist. Of course, there are those that pervert it, but like point 2, its ultimately pointless and empty.

4. If anything, the triumph of the PUA 'mystique' lies in its amazing marketing technique that preys on the raging ego and libido of socially outcasted men. After all, who doesn't want to secure his own perfect 10 right? Looking past this superficial facade however, there are many merits to it, and personally, I've seen how a friend's life has been turned around by following them where it makes sense. From a pudgy, socially awkward guy, he's now leading a really healthy lifestyle, and is a consummate conversationalist that no longer shies away from interacting socially with the girls.

That being said, I think this does exert a somewhat equalizing influence on gender relations, especially after the commodification of sexuality, which seemed for a while to tilt things in favor of the ladies, who could just ramp up the heat and turn guys to jelly. Well, the Empire now is Striking Back.

Tootsie!

The Chinese New Year break and the rash of deadlines have been preventing me from posting, but now I'm back!

To summarize, the movie is about a down-and-out actor (Dustin Hoffman) who unexpectedly finds critical success, both professionally and romantically, in a female role he auditions for out of desperation to prove his acting chops.

A few thoughts on the movie:

1. Gender equality and the feminist movement. This movie uses comedy to highlight the more serious theme of gender inequality, especially in the workplace. Since the film was set in the 1980s, the third-wave of the feminist movement was just gaining traction, so I wouldn't be surprised if the movie's themes hit a chord with many of the working women out there.

2. The irony of gender-benders. One of the criticisms raised against this movie would be the tension between overt theme of combating gender equality, and the underlying meaning behind a plot which has gender-bender main character. This to some reeks of some "false consciousness" or a subtle attempt to prove male dominance/monopoly over certain traits such as assertiveness, pro-activeness etc. Is it necessarily true though? Perhaps the separating the issues of innate gender traits and that of education should be made distinctive instead, which would put the movie in a less harsh light.

3. Gender characteristics: Innate or arbitrary? That's another great issue point that the movie seemed to weigh in on. On the surface, it does seem that male and female have certain dominant character traits, with the main character being mellowed by his stint as a female, and the females learning from his assertive self. On the other hand, going slightly deeper, there seems to be this message of self-journeying by the character, in which he gradually realizes a different side of him that seemed to have been repressed by his social experiences. Interesting point.

4. The homosexuality taboo. Another source of humor which was not resolved or addressed through the movie at all was the underlying ideas of homosexuality. Given the gender-bender role of the main character, it is quite surprising that the issues of homosexuality was not at all addressed throughout the movie. Then again, it's the 1980s, and issues of homosexuality only became a hot-button issue in the 1990s.

It's a good movie though, despite how old it is. Does help that the main female character (Jessica Lange) is quite hot too! Wonder what happened to her. In any case, I've quite a few posts that I'm working on, so stay tuned!

I like pink

It was raining yesterday after class, so I took out my umbrella and opened it.

I managed to get the attention of the girls immediately, who pointed out that my umbrella was pink. My reply was: I don't like to conform to gender stereotypes. +1 to intellectual enlightenment, for me at least.

How do colors get ascribed gender associations? On a separate note, I'm thinking of dyeing my hair bubblegum pink ala Tonks (from Harry Potter - coolest female character in the series).

Gender and dietary preferences

I was just talking to a friend about gender stereotypes the other day, and she asked if I was a "grass-eating boy". I gave her a blank stare and replied, "I'm an omnivore."

It turned out that she wasn't referring to dietary preferences. "Grass-eating boys", or herbivorous guys is a term used to describe a new generation of guys in Japan possessing inherently different qualities and outlooks (in life) from the previous generation, and has been gaining increasing salience in pop culture literature. Essentially, it refers to guys who are apparently lacking in sexual appetite (comparatively), less competitive, and prefer leading a quieter life. It seems that the decade (now 2 decades) since the bursting of the bubble economy in Japan has led to an increasing sense of disillusionment and much soul-searching amongst the population, especially the males, who were the hardest hit by the effects of the economic malaise. Jolted from their bastion of dominance (no doubt padded by the huge swarthes of money swimming around during the bubble era), it seems that the new generation has realized that satisfaction, and happiness can indeed be derived through other channels apart from money. Interestingly though, rather than praise the more enlightened characteristics of these guys, various social commentators have instead labelled this as a sign of increasing"weakness".

Correspondingly, with the emergence of a new herbivorous creature on the gender food chain, a new group of younger women have also evolved accordingly to balance it: "meat-eating girls" or carnivorous females. It doesn't take much to figure out the characteristics of these females: they are generally more assertive, sexually, emotionally and relationship-wise. Given a world where gender equality rapidly gaining traction and widespread attraction, this term seems rather derogatory, and somewhat ironic.

You can read more about them in the following pages: Herbivorous males: Here, here, here, here; Carnivorous females: here, here; Both: here

Is this is a new trend, and is it something unique to just Japan? I'm not too sure; it seems excessively similar to an existing term in the lexicon known as "sensitive new age guy", better known as the SNAG. Perhaps the turning vegetarian is one step further in the evolution (devolution?) of the male gender species.

As for me, I still love my mix of meat and veggies, thank you very much.