De-mystifying the Pick-Up Artist

Or rather, the commodification of attraction. With this, pop science hits its zenith.

The moment of attraction, or the T=0, more often described as "the moment", or the cliche of the visual exchange of electricity via differential potential between the eyes of both sexes, is no longer something mysterious. Nerdy and socially awkward guys, if you every felt like the ugly duckling or Cinderella, your fairy godmother/father/brother has arrived: Attraction is nothing more than a skillset, something you can muster, with lots of reading, exchanging of information, and hard practice. Sounds suspiciously like studying.

I remember the girls in the class being very turned off by the claim that they are powerless to resist once this skillset is used. WRONG. If anyone at all had read the quintessential book on PUAs carefully, i.e. The Game by Neil Strauss, the truth could hardly be further from that. Here's the lowdown:

1. This so-called art of seduction is not so much a technical skillset but rather a nicely packaged set of ideas that teaches men how to navigate the intricacies of society with ease. The stuff about being able to charm the socks (and pants) off women is just a corollary, and a nice form of marketing to boot. In fact, if you were to study the basics carefully, its all about building self-confidence and being comfortable in your own skin. And I think that's the most important skill to be learnt, and its not just applicable to picking up girls but a way or living one's life.

2. Rather than promote a lifestyle of unbridled sex, I do think that Neil Strauss brought out the emptiness and ultimately unfulfilling nature of pursuing this art to its perfection. In fact, the story, despite its seeming amorality, does have an underlying morality: In the end, mastering the game is not about scoring chicks and bedding them, but about finding the right one. Which most guys tend to ignore when idealizing this art.

3. And no, contrary to what most think, the art does not guarantee a 100% success rate. Rather, it puts forward the nothing risked, nothing gained proposition: So what if one girl rejects you? There's still the forest out there! A common-sensical truism that most guys tend to ignore. In addition, there's nothing magical about this skill: The essence of it is basically teaching guys how to play up the interesting aspects of their personalities, and how to be a good conversationalist. Of course, there are those that pervert it, but like point 2, its ultimately pointless and empty.

4. If anything, the triumph of the PUA 'mystique' lies in its amazing marketing technique that preys on the raging ego and libido of socially outcasted men. After all, who doesn't want to secure his own perfect 10 right? Looking past this superficial facade however, there are many merits to it, and personally, I've seen how a friend's life has been turned around by following them where it makes sense. From a pudgy, socially awkward guy, he's now leading a really healthy lifestyle, and is a consummate conversationalist that no longer shies away from interacting socially with the girls.

That being said, I think this does exert a somewhat equalizing influence on gender relations, especially after the commodification of sexuality, which seemed for a while to tilt things in favor of the ladies, who could just ramp up the heat and turn guys to jelly. Well, the Empire now is Striking Back.